It seems to me that one of the primary goals that a person has in life is to “be happy”. Seems reasonable. Seems appropriate. Also seems a little ambiguous. What is “happy” after all? Believe it or not I am not the first person to address this philosophical conundrum. In fact lots of guys with Latin names wearing togas and olive branches for hats have pondered this ad nauseum.
I believe this is particularly pertinent in the United States. Why? Because one would think that we should be some of the happiest people on the face of the planet, as we have (arguably) the highest standard of living on said planet. We take things like turning on a water faucet and being able to drink the water out of it for granted. Don’t want water? How about a coffee? There is either a Dunkin’ Donuts or a Starbucks within 378 yards of 87% of the U.S. population at any given moment. (Ok, an exaggeration, but probably by only about 5 yards).
But even with all this potable water and ubiquitous coffee, we are, as a nation, not so ecstatic. In a survey where people were asked if they considered themselves “very happy, quite happy, not very happy, or not at all happy” , the United States ranked 13th out of 50. You know who was #1? Iceland. Seriously. A country whose name begins with “ice” has way happier people than the U.S..
So being that this time of year is usually one of greater self-reflection, I thought I would spout off some of my thoughts on the subject of happiness. After all, what are a lot of people thinking of making right now? New Year’s resolutions. And what is generally the reason for making a resolution? In broad terms it is to make a change in our lives that will make us happier.
· Stuff will not make you happy
This one might seem obvious or it might not. It is not an original idea by any means, and you may even disagree with it. But one thing that I have verified in my own life is that it is absolutely, undoubtedly true. And this is coming from a guy who likes stuff. I love my iPhone, iPad, GPS multi-sport watch, my little German car, my 46”LCD HDTV, my four bicycles….you get the idea. I have plenty of stuff. And I won’t lie, I do enjoy it. BUT, and this is a big but (hence the caps)- none of it is the source of my happiness. I am a very happy person. I feel like one of the luckiest people on the face of the earth. It has nothing to do with any physical possession. In the end they are only things, and ultimately they are meaningless. Things will not make you happy.
· Don’t be the picture in the dictionary next to the entry for “Insanity”
Ok, I know you’re thinking, “Wow Seth, this is great advice. Don’t be insane. Why didn’t I ever think of that?” Genius, I know, and, you’re welcome. What I am referring to here is the old saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Seems straight forward enough, but for some reason humans tend to like to do this. We are, as a species, a little self-destructive, no? I mean look how many of our inventions give us the capability of annihilating ourselves. Nuclear weapons, dirty bombs, firearms, bacon double cheeseburgers. And if you watch cable news you will see that some people use the opportunity somewhere every day. It is sad. But on an individual level we do this, too. Take our health for example. How many people want to lose weight and improve their health in an effort to be happier? A lot, that is how many. How many of those people though still eat the same unhealthy foods and lead the same sedentary lifestyle that got them to that point in the first place? Also a lot. (I know I’m using really scientific terminology here, sorry). If something is causing dissonance in a person’s life, they cannot continue the same behavior that is causing the dissonance, the problem, and expect the situation to get any better. Bottom line, if something is broke, the only way to fix it is to fix it. Profound, eh?
· Positive results start with positive thoughts
I am a firm believer that we get back in life what we put out. Some call it karma. We ultimately are responsible for our happiness and our misery. We are the architects of our own fate. So if you are the architect of your own fate ask yourself, what are you using as the building materials? If a person lies in bed at night and focuses on the negative in life, the things that they don’t want, guess what they get? Yep, those exact things. If on the other hand the person were to focus on the positive, the things that they do want, guess what they get? They still get the crap. HA! Just kidding! They get the good! Why do I believe in this? Am I very religious? No. Do I have very strong faith? Yes. Have I seen this manifestation in my own life? Absolutely. Many, many times. If a person believes that their cup is half-full, it will be half-full. If they believe their cup runneth over, it will be spilling all over the place. One thing I do every night before I go to sleep is I give thanks. I give thanks and gratitude for all of the people, events, and love in my life that bring me immeasurable happiness. If you focus on love, gratitude, and abundance, and recognize it in your life, you will get love, gratitude and abundance back into your life in spades.
· The path does not lead to happiness. Happiness is the path.
This is one of my favorite quotes from Dr. Wayne Dyer. Rather than me pontificate on this quote, I would suggest this: meditate on it. Say it over and over in your mind, and see where it leads you.
These thoughts have been a bit random and off the cuff. (It is a blog though, so incoherency is to be somewhat expected). When I read them over I feel like a lot of it should be followed by “Well, DUH!” as they feel so obvious. But in life the answers are right in front of us, we just tend to forget or ignore them. So here is one last “well duh” for you, and it is probably the most important “well duh” of them all.
Ultimately there is only one person in the universe who can control whether or not you are happy.
Be well,
Seth
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